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07 December 2009 @ 09:20 pm
Grammar and Nitpicking  
After reading entries on different communities, I have decided I have had enough of the blatant disregard for the most simple grammatical conventions. My grammar education has been negligible, and I'll be the first to admit that I don't know everything and that I do make mistakes. However, over the past 13 or so years while I've been in institutionalised education, I have managed to pick on the following points.

1. Capitalising.
You capitalise the first letter of a sentence, as is demonstrated:
The first letter of this sentence is the "t" in "the" and as you can see, it is capitalised.

You also capitalise "i" when it is the first person subject pronoun, as is demonstrated:
When I write about something I did in first person, I capitalise the "i" because it is gramatically correct.
However, just because you capitalise "i" when it is the first person subject pronoun does not mean that you capitalise the first letter of every word! The following sentence is incorrect:
Whenever I Type I Like To Capitalise The First Letter Of Every Word As If It Were The Title Of A Book Even Though It Looks Ridiculous And Is Wrong.

You do not capitalise random letters in a sentence. The following sentence is incorrect:
hI eveRyoNe. i JuSt WaNtED To SaY thAt I LoVE CapitALISinG raNdOM leTTErs In A ComPLeTeLy iNcOrReCt mAnNeR.
A few words of advice to people who type like this: you are not edgy, you are not cool and most of all you are not correct! You look incredibly idiotic to most of us and many of us are not going to bother reading whatever you have posted, because it hurts our brains to try and decipher whatever your message is.


2. Commas.
You put commas between words in a list, as demonstrated:
I need to buy grapes, apples, bananas, pears and oranges for my fruit salad.
You do not need a comma before the "and" in the above sentence.
Edit to add: Okay, apparently the above rule is quite contentious. It seems to differ from place to place.

You also put commas between adjectives if you are using more than one to describe something, as demonstrated:
He opened his big, wide, blue eyes and looked at me with an open, confused, adorable expression.
This isn't hard to remember because you are just making a list of adjectives.

Commas can be put around clauses to separate them. The commas provides a pause in the sentence. For example:
When I used to live in my old neighbourhood, which was situated just south of the city, I played with my neighbours everyday.


3. Paragraphs and Spacing.
Paragraphs in informal writing are generally chunks of text on the same subject, for example a certain activity. If you are writing a detailed blog about your day do not write everything as one long, extended piece of text. It's difficult to read.

However, it can be just as annoying if you make a new line after every sentence. Consider this:
Yesterday, I went to the park.
It was pretty.
There was a duck.
I don't like ducks - they're stupid.
Yeah, that's all I have to say.
Also, I hit enter after every sentence.
Even if it's not necessary.

It's not poetic or aesthetically pleasing, it's dumb. It should read like this:
Yesterday, I went to the park. It was pretty. There was a duck. I don't like ducks - they're stupid. Yeah, that's all I have to say.

Also, I hit enter after every sentence, even if it's not necessary.



4. Apostrophes.
I'm = I am
You're = You are
He's/She's = He is/She is
Can't = Cannot
Don't = Do not

I don't know what to say about these, except do not forget the apostrophes. It's not hard.


5. Mix-ups.
You're = You are. For example, You're horrible.
"Your" is about ownership, for example, Your dog.

********


To be continued at a later date. Please comment with whatever bugs you and I will add it to the list. :)
 
 
 
blasphemiliar on December 7th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
You do not need a comma before the "and" in the above sentence.

Aaah, the Oxford comma. I'm a little bit iffy with this one since I tend to punctuate sentences so as to reflect the way I speak them; it's a left over habit from lit classes where I got sick of people reading with incorrect or obscure pauses. If someone decides to read out my writings then they have some sort of clue as to how they should be saying it, so that both of us do not sound like idiots.

Aside from that, I have an insatiable urge to murder people who type in lolspeak outside of icanhascheezburger.com. Stuff like:
dat lookz kewl whaddyu doin 2nite?

It takes 35% of the average daily intake of protein to be able to process the above sentence, and even more to be bothered typing it. Plus, if that style of language or indeed, any of the other grammar mishaps you've mentioned are used to compose, oh, a review to your favourite fan-fiction author for instance, he/she is likely to snark you to oblivion rather than reply with gratitude.

Going on from that point another gripe I have, not so much with grammar, is the formality of language to use online. Depending on how close you are to a person in RL it may be acceptable to use lol or rofl frequently in online conversations, but if you choose to initiate contact with a complete stranger online who so happens not to use such...oh I've forgotten what those are called...lolisms? then you've created a bad impression. I had one problem with such a user, who after two private messages composed entirely of grammatical disasters decided that we were friends. Apparently my use of acceptable grammatical conventions and the fact that I had to correct every single 'fact' she knew about Australia made me "batshit smartlol". What the hell does "smartlol" mean?!! Needless to say she is getting the silent treatment.

Well, I am suitably enraged now. Goodnight!
(Deleted comment)
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 9th, 2009 09:25 am (UTC)
Ah, thank you! I shall continue with these included - they are definitely worthy!
closetcase_99: jason :: singclosetcase_99 on December 7th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
This should be posted on every website, I hate reading bad grammar, it makes me want to stab something haha.
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 9th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC)
It's the blatant disregard for the simple grammatical conventions that get me. I never had any formal education, so the more pedantic mistakes pass by me, but the ones I have mentioned above just jump out at me.

Feel free to link people here if you ever feel the need (or if you think it may do them some good)!
post-soviet punkmisterslick on December 7th, 2009 08:49 pm (UTC)
I love you for this. I also am a bit iffy about the "You do not need a comma before the "and" in the above sentence" thing.

I admit I get lazy with grammar, however, usually if it isn't all correct then the only thing that's wrong would be that I don't capitalise letters or put periods at the ends of sentences. Other than that, I'm usually good with following it.

Also, you make me feel stupid sometimes. xD
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 9th, 2009 09:23 am (UTC)
I was never taught sentence structure so I find that on occasion my sentences are worded or punctuated clumsily. Due to this I'm a bit shy about correcting other people's gramamr just because I know that there's probably a few mistakes in everything I post that other people could pick up on.

Why do I make you feel stupid? I don't mean to!
post-soviet punkmisterslick on December 9th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Haha, I mean that you always type so nicely and talk intelligently.
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 10th, 2009 08:00 am (UTC)
Oh, well, thank you! Hahaha, I don't always talk intelligently. Apparently one can actually see a visible shift from 'normal' Jaye to 'academic' Jaye in my face. Apparently I smile a lot less when I'm being 'academic' Jaye - but I think that's just because I smile all the time when I'm not thinking hard about something!

How are you going? Are you on your Christmas break yet?
post-soviet punkmisterslick on December 11th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
I'm doing great, actually. Nope, no Christmas break yet, though -- that starts next Friday. How about you?
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 12th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
That's really good to hear!

Yeah, I'm doiong pretty well, actually. Went to see an amateur theatre production of The Wiz last night, which was very fun. Today I'm cleaning my house. :)
post-soviet punkmisterslick on December 12th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
I love those kinds of productions, I remember seeing Annie Jr. and it was a lot of fun.

Oh, and happy birthday!
Truthful Plum Logical Horse: reading addictmegyal on December 8th, 2009 12:32 am (UTC)
The other day I asked someone why she put her comma outside the sentences in speeches, like so:

"Put out the dog while you're at it", he said.

Nothing riles me up more than that. But apparently, that's how they do it in Finland. I'm tempted to call someone random in Finland and say, "Sir/Madame, is this how you're taught to do it?" because any time I see it, I don't even want to read what the person is writing. I just focus on that. And the worst part is, they don't treat the full-stop that way. The full-stop goes inside. I want equality in my speech, okay?

I could be wrong though. But I don't think so and I'm always unusually pissed off about it, and I'm the kind of person who'll let a 'your' in place of a 'you're' slide. Okay I won't let it slide for too long.
Lunaunkickablekitty on December 8th, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)
I love the Oxford comma, though. *pout*

*grin*
Owen Grady: paris. wow nosuckyfucky on December 8th, 2009 04:41 am (UTC)
I often make a new line for each sentence because sometimes thats how my thoughts come out, especially when I've smoked a bit of tree.
Owen Gradysuckyfucky on December 8th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC)
omg I forgot the apostrophe


Also, remember the day and age you're in. People have the Internet on their phones, so blog posts have gone the way of the text message.
Jayden Rio Blue, Messanger of Godjaydenrioblue on December 9th, 2009 09:15 am (UTC)
With short blog posts, where each sentence is on a different subject, it's fine. But when it's a full page of writing, and every sentence follows on, it can get very annoying. *shrug* When someone has smoked a bit of tree, I've found that each sentence skips around a bit, so it isn't as jarring.

Yeah, I guess I'm a little stick in the mud. I was more talking about extended blog posts, not just two-liners.
hurricane rebecca: AHHH/Will/Gleethebigdisaster on January 20th, 2011 01:59 pm (UTC)
You're and your/They're and their and usage errors tend to make me laugh. I hate when people mispell words and mix those up though. I am guilty of one or two of these mistakes though. Generally, though, that's because I type really fast and just can't be bothered to read through my entries at the time. I'm really embarassed when I spot them later on.